As I wrote about in my previous post, I have abundant opportunities to put ACIM into practice in my life.  A situation recently arose again where I had a choice: Do I want to be right or happy? Based on my previous experience, why stop forgiving when I’m on a roll? 🙂

While in a conversation with a close person in my life, this person told me something that seemingly contradicted what they had previously told me.  And with good intentions, I decided to point that out. There was a discrepancy between what they said and what they did.

Who decided to point this out? It was likely Corinne, not the Holy Spirit (remember, I like to talk about myself in the 3rd person to help get some distance between me and my ego).

The attacks towards me began.

I was accused of being horribly judgmental, and “holier than thou,” among many other hurtful things. It felt like daggers were being hurled at my sense of self.

In my head, my ego was SCREAMING, “DEFEND YOURSELF!!! You didn’t do these things and you did not feel judgment when you said what you said!! You are being wrongfully accused!! FIX THEIR PERCEPTIONS because they are wrong!!!”

But I knew where defending myself would lead because I’ve gone down this road many times before with this person.

If I defend myself and try to explain why I said what I said, I’d enter into the cycle of attack/defense. My defenses would have justifications in them. My attempts to change their perception would be perceived as an attack. The attack/defense cycle would stay alive and well.

I could remove myself from the situation, but I knew that I would then be accused of rejecting this person.

I knew I didn’t want to attack back, but the anger and urge to attack/defend was already being felt my heart.

What to do?

With clarity as if I was looking straight through crystal clear water to the bottom of a lake, I KNEW that there was no way of finding true resolution on this level.  Any attempt to try to fix their perceptions would keep the ego’s games going. This person was asking me, without words, to practice A Course in Miracles to the Nth degree. I have to be willing to accept healing for MY perceptions. Despite my ego’s firm objections, I was willing to give it a try.

Still feeling angry and hurt, I said to the Holy Spirit, “You said I only need the tiniest bit of willingness to see differently. I have that willingness. NOW WHAT? I have NO IDEA what to do!!!”

I felt clueless as to how to respond to this person.  ANY response from Corinne wasn’t going to work. I’d be perceived as judging, rejecting, manipulating, psychoanalyzing, or engaging in some other painful behavior. Only 5 words came forward for me, “I love you” and “I’m sorry.” So that is all I said.

When I spoke to this person next, the shift was palpable. Although I sensed one or two opportunities to reengage in the conflict, it was as if we BOTH were being lifted “above the battleground.”  This person said that they were clear that I had not meant to hurt them, and they seemed to let go of their interpretation of the situation, as I had been willing to let go of mine.

This person’s perceptions changed, and I (Corinne) didn’t do a thing. All I did was get out of the way, and turn to the Holy Spirit as my guide instead of my tempting ego.

The tiniest willingness IS all we need. “I need do nothing” becomes “I need do NO THING except get out of the way.” I choose to be happy rather than right. The recognition that this person experienced a shift along with me reinforces my learning of the Course. It reminds me of the ACIM quote:

As you awaken other minds to the Holy Spirit through Him, and not yourself, you will understand that you are not obeying the laws of this world. But the laws you are obeying work. “The good is what works” is a sound though insufficient statement. Only the good can work. Nothing else works at all. (FIP T-9.V.8)